


Down to the Ocean

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [105]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beaches, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Summer Vacation, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 17:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: laf: will you wake me up if I sleep rnlaf: like Before the children because I,,,enjoy food,,,and they,,,,don't want me to have thatjohnn: hkaHKHDSKlittle lion: we'll wake you uplaf: ty I love you





	Down to the Ocean

**little lion** : why does hercules, a wall of our pile, have to leave so early

 **more like HUNKules** : bc our beach trips are when me, hugh, and elizabeth go jogging together and I act like I've been jogging this whole year instead of Very sporadically because I like staying in bed w y'all So much that I just ignore that i have anything else to do

 **little lion** : mgnmgg fine

 **little lion** : also francis is going with you don't forget

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm very afraid because I Know this child is faster than me

 **laf** : it's jogging tho so does it really matter??

 **more like HUNKules** : I guess not

 **more like HUNKules** : I have to go now though so !! goodbye loves I'll see you at around six thirty!!

 **little lion** : ,,,,that is a Tight Shirt

 **more like HUNKules** : I won't be wearing it for long

 **little lion** : sndmMBDJ leaVE before I have the energy to kiss you bc I Will make you late

 **more like HUNKules** : I love you

 **little lion** : I love you too!! now go !!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : going !!

 **laf** : sleep we have two more hours

 **little lion** : y a s

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : is francis Awake

 **frances** : ya he's in the living room I think??  
  
**frances** : he's ready at least I know that

 **more like HUNKules** : yeah he's here okay ty!! you should get some more sleep

 **frances** : don't have to tell me twice

\---

 **france eyes** : WHY ARE WE DRIVING

 **frances** : I was so close to sleep and I swear if I didn't love you so much I would kill you

 **france eyes** : SORRY

 **frances** : also they jog like the whole boardwalk and once they ran down to the boardwalk and my uncle like almost died or whatever so uH they drive and Then jog

 **france eyes** : oh!! okay!! also your aunt is super nice

 **frances** : aw what are you talkin about

 **france eyes** : she's making fun of your dad and uncle bc they're fighting over tastykakes in the front of the bus and I'm

 **frances** : kHKDHjK

 **france eyes** : we're at the boardwalk now so !! I have to go !! get some rest it's like five am

 **frances** : ya james is like On Top of me so !! I'm gonna cuddle him gn

 **france eyes** : gn!!

\---

 **frances** : ,,,,are you Alright

 **france eyes** : we'rE IN THE BUS AGAIN NOW

 **france eyes** : I THINK I FAINTED FOR A SHORT TIME BUT I DIDNT STOP RUNNING

 **frances** : oh my god

 **france eyes** : THE WHOLE BOARDWALK AND WE ONLY HAD ONE BREAK WHEN YOUR DAD WENT TO GO BUY CANDY FOR YOUR OTHER PARENTS

frances: aw

 **france eyes** : I NEED SEVERAL MINUTES

 **france eyes** : YOUR AUNT IS GIVING ME WATER

 **france eyes** : ALSO I REALLY WANT TO COME BACK TO THE BOARDWALK LATER AND GO INTO ALL THE LITTLE SHOPS W YOU !!

 **frances** : we can do that !! we can probs go on a date later tonight and eat at a place there and then walk around n stuff

 **france eyes** : yES !! there's so many ice cream places I can't wait to die

 **frances:** hKSHKKHDK

 **france eyes** : we're back at the house now and your dad said we have one hour before we have to leave do you Care if I get in bed while sweaty

 **frances** : no bc I'm freezing and you're gonna be warm and james is still asleep and he Won't notice

 **france eyes** : god bless I'm coming up

\---

 **little lion** : BEACH BEACH BEACH!!!!

 **more like HUNKules** : hi good morning I bought all of you candy on my jog

 **little lion** : hercules,,,babe

 **more like HUNKules** : are you crying

 **little lion** : no

 **johnn** : he's crying

 **little lion** : ,,,he's just so cute,,,,he went jogging and he paused and was like,,,,wait Candy,,,,and he bought candy for Us like who the fuck has a better husband?? nobody bc I have the best two

 **johnn** : I haven't done anything to earn best husband title

 **little lion** : ,,,you married me?? you look like That?? title earned bitch??

 **johnn** : aight

 **little lion** : !! hercules !! what are you doing

 **more like HUNKules** : setting the table and heating up the waffle iron bc you said you wanted to make waffles

 **little lion** : ,,,,!! I'm coming down

 **more like HUNKules** : yay come kiss me

 **johnn** : WAIT WAIT

 **johnn** : CAN WE ESTABLISH AT THIS POINT IN TIME THAT ME AND HERCULES ARE NOT COMPETING FOR THE ROLE OF BEST MAN IN YOUR WEDDING BEC AU S E LIKE

 **little lion** : you and hercules are not and Will Not be competing for role as best man in my wedding because it is a decision I do not make alone because I would be marrying Two Other People

 **more like HUNKules** : do you just have a list of Good Points to make whenever me and john bring this up bc honestly you're just rollin em out

 **little lion** : no but I could make one if you give me a min

 **laf** : why would you,,,,wake me like this

 **johnn** : sorry??

 **laf** : gmgngng come here and cuddle me for like twenty mins

 **johnn** : !!

 **laf** : also this is so cute you're literally fighting over who gets to be Designated to support alex like you don't already get to do it as his literal Husbands

 **johnn** : ya but if one of us is best man it's like,,,we're a Husband of alex's,,,,supporting him in this journey of getting two more husbands,,,,to love and cherish forever

 **johnn** : this isn't gonna happen for like three years I'm so upset

 **little lion** : ok literally y'all are more excited for my wedding than I am rn

 **little lion** : bc it's so far away and we haven't started planning anything so I'm Excited but I'm not like,,,Hyped,,,and y'all are like so happy and pumped and I'm !!

 **johnn:** bc our husband is getting married!! but we get why you're not !!!!! bc that does make sense and I'm so excited for when you do start planning your wedding bc it's gonna be so beautiful bc our wedding was so beautiful and you're amazing and!!

 **laf** : ,,,,you never really expect when you're young to ever get a text that starts with ""our husband is getting married""

 **little lion** : I miss james and thomas :^(

 **little lion** : ghghgh they're not gonna be up for like hOURs

 **little lion** : I'm going to make breakfast now

 **more like HUNKules** : ooh can I make fruit salad

 **little lion** : you're so cute yes and whatever we don't eat we can put in the cooler and take to the beach

 **more like HUNKules** : !!

 **little lion** : no wait kiss me first you're cute

 **more like HUNKules** : my babe

 **laf** : will you wake me up if I sleep rn

 **laf** : like Before the children because I,,,enjoy food,,,and they,,,,don't want me to have that

 **johnn** : hkaHKHDSK

 **little lion** : we'll wake you up

 **laf** : ty I love you

 **laf** : john what are you doing

 **johnn** : staying w/ you

 **laf** : okay bc I'm gonna death grip you rn and I ain't letting go until we go downstairs but if you wanted to go down Now it's fine

 **johnn** : no you're warm snatch me up

 **laf** : <3

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : WAIT BEFORE YOU SLEEP

 **laf** : I love the alex protection chat what the fUCk is up

 **johnn** : !!

 **more like HUNKules** : idk if alex has actually thought about it because he hasn't mentioned it and he probs Would bring it up but like,,,next year,,

 **more like HUNKules** : we invite james and thomas to come w us Here

 **laf** : !! I've been thinking about that !! and ya they're coming

 **more like HUNKules** : okay because I was considering talking about it This Year but then alex said he wasn't going to bc they've only been back together for two months but by next year it's gonna be y'know,,,a yeAR and !! he would be so happy and also like,,,I kind of want them here?? not just because alex is going to marry them and misses them but because when they Do get married, our lives will be a thing with them too?? like we're kind of,,,also marrying them,,,but we're Not

 **johnn** : no I get it

 **johnn** : and yeah !! I feel the same way !! and lucy and jane can come and we just go fuckin WILD

 **laf** : we'd need a new house bc this bed does not fit us and Will Not fit Us

 **johnn** : we can burn that bridge when we get to it

 **laf** : ya

 **laf:** let's go back to bed now

 **johnn:** !! yes

 **more like HUNKules** : sleep well loves

 **laf:** oh my GoD I love you

\---

 **anastasie:** doNT GO DOWNSTAIRS

 **frances:** I literally told you not to

 **theodosia the Second** : ???

 **frances** : in this family, we can't just gO down to breakfast without being Called, because if you go early there is a 100% chance you will walk in on our parents making out and then you don't want to fucking Eat breakfast anymore

 **theodosia the Second** : jesus c h r is t

 **james** : oh my god??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : that's why I thank god most days for frances bc she tells you this skill you are Not forced to learn it

 **frances** : my eyes are scarred

 **france eyes** : sjdhKHDKSH

 **anastasie:** breakfast is supposed to be in two minutes why would they do this

 **pip pip doodly doo** : you've known them 30 years and you ask this question

 **anastasie** : theY CAN BE IN LOVE OR WHATEVER THATS FINE BUT WHEN BREAKFAST IS IN TWO MINUTES AND YOU HAVE SEVEN CHILDREN YOU CAN PAUSE IT

 **frances** : KHSJHDKSHD

\---

 **little lion** : BREAKFAST!!!

 **laf:** I'm up!!

\---

 **little lion** : are we all done eating

 **hugh lowercase** : ya

\---

 **little lion** : coME EAT CHILDREN

 **anastasie** : FINALLY

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : BEACH BEACH BEACH

 **theodosia the Second** : when your hair is up it looks like a poof

 **theodosia the Second** : I love you so much wow

 **pip pip doodly doo** : don't even do this to me like you aren't wearing a big ass sun hat and a sun dress lookin like a fuckign goDDESS goodbye

 **theodosia the Second** : JSDJSHS

 **frances:** disgusting

 **frances:** I'm happy for you bc like,,,look at my brother fuck it up out there in the world,,,but at the same time Gross

 **france eyes** : should we be dressed rn?? bc we're still eating and idk where you went

 **frances:** no you're fine I'm doing my hair bc I have to help pack the cooler

 **james:** okay bc there's still a whole other two waffles left and we're the only ones at the table sO

 **france eyes** : I love james he's so cute

 **james** : I love you too but stop staring at me bc I Am blushing

 **france eyes** : hmm,,,fine

 **frances** : wow I'm 100% a hypocrite but I am So in love

 **james** : <3 <3 <3

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I've decided to kill frances goodbye

 **frances** : pleASE DO NOT

 **theodosia the Second** : not only am I afraid,,,,I am stunned

 **james** : I'm almost scared to ask why

 **theodosia the Second** : philip opened the door to kill frances and she was already standing there Waiting,,,and she snapped a hair tie at his forehead but it hit him in the eye and then I just

 **theodosia the Second** : he tackled her and everything on the sink is now on the floor and ?? I fear

 **theodosia the Second** : this is really the family we married into

 **james** : ,,,,,yeah,,,,,,

 **france eyes** : do you want us to like?? come up??

 **theodosia the Second** : no pip got away and frances locked the bathroom door so I think they're good now

 **james** : god bless we're coming up now bc we finished breakfast

 **theodosia the Second** : and We are coming Down

 **james** : nice

\---

 **frances** : he fuckign bruised me I hate him

 **france eyes** : ,,,,there's pieces of his hair on the counter

 **frances** : anyway

 **frances** : you need to be Dressed

 **james** : we're going

 **james** : also were we supposed to bring beach chairs??? uhHh bc I'm not like In Love with sand

 **frances** : no there's some in the garage I'll ask my dad to go and get them

 **james** : okie

 **james** : also !! if I haven't told you already I love you sm

 **frances** : it was literally the first thing you said to me when I woke up but I love you too

 **frances** : I am going downstairs now to get sunscreen on and also help w the cooler!! like I said I was going to but never did

 **james** : alright !! we'll be down !!

 **frances** : !!

\---

 **little lion** : wow!! is now a good time to say hOW much I love you and how beautiful you all are becAUSE

 **johnn** : why do you choose the time when all of us go in the bathroom to get ready to say this

 **little lion** : because you can't kiss me to shut me up when you get too flustered

 **little lion** : your notifications are Always on and I Take Advantage

 **johnn** : amazing

 **johnn** : also rude but I love you so fine

 **laf** : taking off my wedding ring for any Other reason than cleaning is honestly Disheartening

 **more like HUNKules** : we, the spouses who the wedding ring refers to, are Right here

 **johnn** : and we have,,,like,,,tattoos

 **laf** : yeah but still it's so comforting  
  
**little lion** : I can't wait to sit in beach chairs and hold hands for six years before Leaving the beach

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm ready I'm gonna go ask him

 **johnn** : about the ocean thing or the james and thomas thing

 **more like HUNKules** : both

 **johnn** : okay

\---

 **little lion** : do y'aLL waNT me to go in the ocean

 **johnn** : it is always your choice alexander

 **little lion** : no I know !! but idk if I want to but if any of You wanted me to I'd go bc I want to go in With You

 **johnn** : you can always put your chair close to the water and just sit there like you like to do

 **laf** : and we,,,are okay with whatever you're okay with,,,,

 **little lion** : I can hear you whisper aruging over your word choice just Tell me whether you want me to go in the ocean or not

 **johnn** : we like being in the ocean and we like doing things with you they could collab and that'd be nice or they don't have to and that would be nice too because you'd be comfortable and your chances of flashbacks and panicking would be Less

 **little lion** : that did not clear things up At All but that's literally what you think and you're being honest with me so uH I'll go in the ocean w you if you Want me to, but I won't go Alone

 **more like HUNKules** : we do this literally every year

 **laf** : I like making sure my small husband is safe

 **laf** : also where Were you

 **more like HUNKules** : alex is In my Lap

 **little lion** : khSHSGD I am in my foRTIES and you still call me your small husband

 **laf** : ya bc you haven't gotten any taller since you were 22

 **laf** : moving on

 **little lion** : HJDHSI

 **little lion** : also thank you for making sure I'm safe I love you all very much

 **more like HUNKules** : we love you too alex

 **more like HUNKules** : also just like !! cause we're in different rooms and already texting

 **more like HUNKules** : uH james and thomas

 **more like HUNKules** : with us @ the beach next year

 **more like HUNKules** : thoughts??

 **laf** : fucking smooth as shit

 **more like HUNKules** : divorced

 **laf** : hKHS

 **little lion** : I !! yes

 **little lion** : thoughts: yes

 **little lion** : iF YOURE OKAY WITH THAT!! I wouldn't want to impose

 **johnn** : hdjhdksdh my love !! you are married to us!! you cannot impose anything on us!! we accept and embrace anything you Ask of us

 **little lion** : ,,,okay beCAUSE THAT WOULD BE B O M B

 **little lion** : !! I'll talk to them about it !!

 **laf** : !! wOO !! we love you so much me and john are coming out now!!

 **little lion** : !! coME kiss me

 **johnn** : we are rUSHING out

\---

 **little lion** : john my love, light, and reason for living, why do you look so sad :^((

 **johnn** : I think I'm shrinking

 **little lion** : oh !! bc you are

 **little lion** : we've noticed

 **johnn** : shKHKHD and you didn't teLL ME??

 **more like HUNKules** : ?? you're already the smallest husband ?? who cares if you've gone down a partial inch

 **johnn** : hgmg,ggmbg let's leave

 **little lion** : bEACH

\---

 **james** : I'm

 **james** : your parents have matching finger tattoos

 **frances** : ya they got them like,,,15 years ago,,,or something?? idk hercules and alex have other matching ones that they got five years ago and I know Those ones bc I was there when they came home after they got them

 **france eyes** : the flowers on like his side??

 **frances** : ya

 **france eyes** : okay bc I Saw that one when I was jogging with ya family

 **france eyes** : but also why just them and not lafayette or john

 **frances** : they weren't 100% down w/ it and you,,,kinda should be if it's getting matching tattoos with your spouse

 **james** : tru

 **france eyes** : honestly that's so fucking ride or die and I know it's weird if I say it but I Love your parents

 **frances** : it is but I get it they have a very connected aesthetic and I respect that

 **james** : that's so fucking cool also y'all are so tall what the fuck !! I'm so tiny

 **frances** : small bf

 **james** : that nickname is the Literal equivalent of when you pinch my cheeks I am too old for this

 **frances** : you're Our Age

 **james** : noBODY PINCHES Y'ALL'S CHEEKS

 **frances** : okay true

 **frances** : do you want us to Stop

 **james** : ,,,no but I still want to be able to complain about it

 **frances** : that's,,,fair

 **frances** : I love you

 **james** : I love you too!!

\---

 **little lion** : BEACH BEACH BEACH !!

 **laf** : he's so cute look at him go

 **johnn** : no he got sand in my mouth bc he didn't take his flip flops off before Sprinting he can choke

 **laf** : jesus

 **johnn** : yeah yeah yeah I love him or whatever but at the same time he got sand in my mouth and he can Choke

 **laf** : fair but he has the bag with the sunscreen so you really want to pick and choose your battles

 **johnn** : fine I love him and don't want him to choke

 **johnn** : he also picked a bomb ass beach spot so I love him more now

 **little lion** : wow so glad my husband's love for me is based on my ability to pick squares of sand

 **johnn** : oh absolutely

 **little lion** : how we survive the off season i will never know

 **johnn** : I'm gonna run and kiss you

 **little lion** : and I am going to stand here waiting to be kissed

 **johnn:** !!

 **laf:** amazing

\---

 **laf:** alex in sunglasses aka, bigger, Rounder bubbles

 **little lion** : lafayette in tiny, T i n y swim trunks, aka me, sweating unable to look at anything or anybody else

 **laf** : ;^))

 **johnn** : hghhghg I forget about those shorts and then every time you wear them it's like pOW and then I get arrested cardiovascularly

 **little lion:** hHDHJ

 **more like HUNKules** : fR though I am so in love !!

 **more like HUNKules** : alex's hair is up and his sunglasses are almost comically big on his face and !! beautiful

 **more like HUNKules** : john keeps working out without me which is rude but I can See the results and his hair is down and his skin is Glittering and all his freckles are like pOp an d!! stunning

 **more like HUNKules** : lafayette's tiny shorts are so bright and so very small and !! I don't want to be crude but that is an Ass and your legs are so long and you're so beautiful and !! gorgeous

 **more like HUNKules** : me !! so happy and full of love for my spouses who I never want to stop looking at and !! very Very lucky

 **johnn** : hGHHGS you type all of that and just,,,,bring us to half death,,,and then take off your shorts that you hid Specifically so you could kill us w Those

 **little lion** : whAT !! IS !! HAPPENING !! WHY ARE YOU BUSSING OUT ALL THESE NEW THINGS THAT ARE MEANT TO KILL US!! FIRST GLASSES AND NOW SWIM TRUNKS THAT ONLY HIT YOUR MID THIGHS, THE MOST LETHAL PART OF YOU HERCULES WHY

 **laf** : watching alex dramatically fall onto the beach blanket just as I set it down was fucking Cinematic  
  
**johnn** : also everyone else is staring at us because they can't see this so in context lafayette bussed out the shorts, hercules bussed out Those Shorts, and alex collapsed

 **little lion** : it works in that context too

 **johnn** : t rU

 **little lion** : idk how I got so fuckin blessed to be married to so many nice thighs

 **johnn** : hsdhJGDHSG ALEX

 **little lion** : you're all standing in front of me facing Away and I am appreciating my View to say the least

 **johnn** : !! hELP US SET UP

 **little lion** : anything for you my love <3

 **johnn** : s t o p

\---

 **frances** : I've decided to divorce francis he has been staring at my dad for TOO LONG

 **james** : for our date tonight can we go on the beach and just like walk

 **james** : oH we sent things at the same time,,,,I See

 **james** : fair kill him

 **france eyes** : I don't think your dad is hot anymore I promise

 **frances** : that's not how being attracted to people works you actual saltine

 **france eyes** : nO I promise I don't bc he's your dad and I only love You ((and james)) and Not your dad because that's Gross and also he's Married and also in his Forties and Your Dad and also I'm still sorry for ever thinking he was hot??

 **frances** : okay but Why were you Staring At Him

 **france eyes** : bc his legs are like,,,,logs,,,and he wore sweatpants to jog so I did not notice before

 **frances** : ,,,Fine you get to live This Time

 **france eyes** : I love you so much !!

 **frances** : I love you too do either of you want to come with me and pip to get beach umbrellas

 **james** : is it okay if I say no

 **frances** : always

 **james** : bc I love you but I don't wanna Walk

 **frances** : rude but fair I'm gonna gO !! so we can sit in the shade and Not roast

 **france eyes** : whenever we sit with theo and like Talk to her without philip or frances there i feel like a basketball wife

 **frances** : you're Ridiculous

 **france eyes** : I Like being a basketball wife

 **france eyes** : can I do that and not go to college

 **james** : no because you're pickin up a third of our future rent and the economy is in shambles so we need all the income we can Get

 **france eyes** : fine

 **france eyes** : ooH there's fruit salad

 **james** : if I lay down on our beach blanket will you feed me fruit and we can be Those people

 **france eyes** : y e s

 **frances** : !! I want to be on the other side of james if that's happening

 **france eyes** : !! you're back !! where is the umbrella

 **frances** : pip is getting it

 **james** : ,,,,why,,,

 **frances** : I had a Thing with the person who works the umbrella stand so I uh,,,am Not Doing That

 **james** : I can see them from here

 **france eyes** : ghHGH

 **frances** : sTOP STARING

 **james** : was this last year,,,,like a Month before you started dating Us last year

 **frances** : I was sort of in love with both of you but I was like haha it's not gonna happen might as well move on!! and I went up to get an umbrella for me, pip, and ana and they were like !! hi !! and uh basically I had like a Fling,,,,in a non sexual meaning of the word,,,and then I was like lmao I gotta go home and this is cool or whatever but you live four hours away and I don't think this is going to last even if we don't end it here bc I'm in love w two other people so uH we should end it,,,,and they were like yeah that makes sense and it was super awkward sO!!

 **france eyes** : g o d

 **frances** : so yeah!! and I Know they recognize pip but that doesn't mean that I have to go and Face Them

 **james** : that's fair

 **james** : I'm happy I have you in my life

 **frances** : !! jaMES

\---

 **theodosia the Second** : my boyfriend is so stUnnNnnIN G look at him being shirtless and Muscles

 **theodosia the Second** : I'm so proud and happy

 **frances** : look at my broTHER !! GO !!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : THEY AS K ED M E ABOUT IT

 **frances** : HGHGGGHGH NO

 **pip pip doodly doo** : THEY THOUGHT THEO FRANCIS AND JAMES WERE OUR COU SIN S

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I WAS JUST TRYING TO RENT THESE TWO UMBRELLAS AND THEYRE LIKE ""oH ARE THOSE YOUR COUSINS OR SOMETHING THAT YOU NEED THE EXTRAS"" AND I JSUT

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ""UHHHHhhH NO THATS MY GIRLFRIEND AND FRANCES' BOYFRIENDS, tHEY CAME ALONG WITH US THIS YEAR"" AND IT WASNT LIKE A SAD ""oh"" IT WA SLIKE A ""I JUST SAID MY PAST FLINGS BOYFRIENDS WERE HER COUSINS"" KIND OF ""oh""

 **frances** : I HOPE I DIE

\---

 **little lion** : are you,,,okay

 **frances** : REMEMBER THE PERSON I HAD THAT THING WITH LAST YEAR WHEN WE WERE HERE

 **little lion** : oH ya

 **little lion** : you don't need to say anything else I see them

 **frances** : hkdhJHDJH

 **little lion** : we can move spots if you want

 **frances** : nO IM ALREADY COMFORTABLE I WILL JU S T DEAL

 **little lion** : okay mon ange just checking

 **frances** : JSHDJ TY ILY LOOK AWAY NOW

 **little lion** : ,,,alright,,,ily2

\---

 **little lion** : frances' Not signif from last year is at the umbrella stand behind us and I sort of feel bad but not bad enough bc likE,,,,it's a good spot and she has like,,,,boyfriends now

 **laf** : aw I liked them

 **more like HUNKules** : you like anyone who makes our daughter happy

 **laf** : ,,,,yes,,,,,is that not what I am supposed to do

 **more like HUNKules** : no it's fine I'm just saying, it's cute

 **laf** : you're cute

 **more like HUNKules** : we are literally fourteen

 **laf** : yes

 **johnn** : does anyone want to come with me to see how cold the water is !!

 **more like HUNKules** : !! ye I'll come !! you gotta help me up tho

 **johnn** : !! yay

\---

 **hugh lowercase** : I feel like we should be texting they're always texting

 **elizabeth s** : there's four of them, they have Three children, and two of those have significant others that are here

 **elizabeth s** : I think they have more to talk about

 **hugh lowercase** : idk how lafayette, alex, and john aren't bald that sounds like so much stress

 **elizabeth s** : you say it like hercules is bald

 **hugh lowercase** : I don't think herc is going to Go bald,,,,,I haven't,,,my dad still has a full head of hair and he's 73

 **elizabeth s** : that's Terrifying

 **elizabeth s** : also you have to call them later

 **hugh lowercase** : ya and you have to talk to your uncle bc you told him you would last night and then fell asleep at seven

 **elizabeth s** : I'll do it later today like @ one

 **hugh lowercase** : want me to set an alarm??

 **elizabeth s** : ,,,,yes

 **hugh lowercase** : okay

 **hugh lowercase** : !! did you bring the big big sand buckets

 **elizabeth s:** yeah they're behind me

 **hugh lowercase** : god bless bc william is planning out his space and I would hate for him to have to Wait  
  
**elizabeth s** : why are you crying  
  
**hugh lowercase** : our kid is so cute  
  
**elizabeth s** : aW

\---

 **anastasie:** I've had this chat on do not disturb thank you jesus for sparing me this

 **frances:** rude

 **frances:** also we haven't talked like all morning what gives

 **anastasie:** idk ??!!

 **frances:** come lay next to me and we can gosSIP

 **anastasie:** oOh yes I'm coming

 **frances:** !! yay

\---

 **johnn:** the water is so nice!! my loves my loves my loves

 **little lion** : why did you bring your phone down to the Ocean

 **johnn** : ,,,,because I wanted to tell you how nice the water is,,,,

 **little lion** : so cute

 **little lion** : also !! lafayette still blushes when I flirt with them it's been two decades

 **laf** : I hate him

 **little lion** : I'm so delighted !!

 **laf** : shut

 **little lion** : they're so red!!!

 **johnn** : I can literally see you from here and I'm!! they're pouting

 **laf** : iM leaving is what I am

 **laf** : AND ALSO YES ALEX

 **little lion** : !! yay

 **little lion** : we're all going on a date tonight

 **more like HUNKules** : you're so cute can we go to that italian restaurant that we like

 **johnn** : wait is that why lafayette was pouting

 **little lion** : !! I was just,,,commenting,,,,on how beautiful they are,,,,

 **laf** : he coMPARED ME TO PAINTINGS

 **laf** : AND THEN ASKED!! ME!! OUT!!

 **laf** : HE IS!! S H I R T L E S S

 **laf** : WHAT MADE YOU THINK I COULD SURVIVE THAT IN ANY CAPACITY

 **little lion** : did you really have to leave the whole entire beach though :^((

 **laf** : I'm buying french fries and also women are staring at me

 **johnn** : people on the beach were staring at you bc you're beautiful and Hot

 **laf** : s t o p

\---

 **france eyes** : okay I'm

 **france eyes** : that was Poetry

 **theodosia the Second** : my life is changed bitch

 **james** : who just,,,saYS stuff like that like off the top of their head

 **pip pip doodly doo** : pops is Like That

 **anastasie** : remember that one time when we were leaving that art museum and alex just like,,blurted out to john that nothing ever created by human or god's hands at any point in time could ever compare to the beauty he saw every morning getting to wake up next to him and john was so shocked he tripped and fell down the stairs and broke his wrist

 **frances** : that was fucking iconic

 **james** : wait he,,,Actually broke his wrist

 **pip pip doodly doo** : yes

 **france eyes** : are your parents okay??

 **frances** : Literally Never

 **pip pip doodly doo** : hercules had to carry him to urgent care ihghjghJHJH

 **anastasie** : anD THEN PAR HAD TO CARRY ME TO URGENT CARE BC I WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD TO WALK

 **theodosia the Second** : does that happen a lot??

 **anastasie** : not enough to be Concerning but like more than once

 **frances** : once like two years ago they got wine drunk when we were out at a poetry slam thing and we came home early to them literally Fighting because once when they were in their twenties alex broke his arm trying to get john's sunhat after it flew into a tree

 **frances** : they were fighting over whether or not that was stupid

 **james** : hKHKSDH who was on what side

 **anastasie** : alex and hercules thought it was cute, john and lafayette thought it was stupid

 **pip pip doodly doo** : and then hercules switched sides bc no matter how cute it was he Did break his arm and then alex got sad and they like,,,,came together and said it was cute And stupid and then went to bed

 **frances** : hercules once had to wear an ankle brace for a month because our aunt angelica's partners throw this ball every year that my parents go to and lafayette came downstairs in a gown and he twisted his ankle when he turned to see them and was so hyped he just Collapsed on it

 **theodosia the Second** : aw that's like pip at prom

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,stop it,,,I was lovestruck and I don't deserve this

 **theodosia the Second** : I don't deserve You <3

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm gonna look away from you now because I'm blushing like a bitch do Not look at me I will only die more

 **theodosia the Second** : omg

\---

 **laf** : I think this woman is taking me glancing over at her to make sure she's not gonna walk over to me as me Implying that she should walk over to me and uH

 **laf** : oh she's doing it she's walking over

 **more like HUNKules** : run??

 **laf** : I can't I don't have the fries yet!!

 **laf** : oh she's here and she's flirting and I'm so tired

 **laf** : I like being beautiful but I hate this

 **little lion** : I,,,love lafayette,,,,so much

 **more like HUNKules** : mood

 **laf:** that was terrible and idk if people are just Bad at flirting now or if my perception of flirting has changed because y'all are,,,like,,,,married to me,,,,and know how to kill me and how I like to be flirted with?? who knows

 **laf** : ,,,not to mention that I can Tell when people only flirt with me to have sex w me and it's sad bc like,,,flirt with your Heart

 **little lion** : are you alright

 **laf** : and y'all have Already had sex with me so you aren't like,,,trying to get somewhere you've already been,,,,unless you are trying to fuck me then it's better bc you like,,,,are my spouses and I love you and think it's cute,,,,but also hot,,,,but also cute?? idk I think I'm having a crisis

 **johnn** : I come back from being sunscreened again to?? this??

 **laf** : I'M HAVING A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT FLIRTING OKAY

 **laf** : did we flirt with each other before we got together??

 **johnn** : do I fucking Remember before we got together

 **more like HUNKules** : I don't like to

 **more like HUNKules** : but also I guess??

 **johnn** : us flirting was us,,,being half naked and awkward,,,kissing before we got together and ruining our own lives bc we were stupid

 **little lion** : yeah,,,,,,

 **laf** : whatever I have french fries now and I'm coming back

 **more like HUNKules** : !! yes !!

\---

 **frances** : can we leAVE PLEASE

 **frances** : there's only so much ocean sand ocean sand ocean sand sandcastle sandcastle sandcastle that I can Take

 **anastasie** : yeah even william, Sand King, agreed that we'd be better and sandcastling tomorrow he's like passed out he's not even lying on a towel

 **anastasie** : just the,,,damp sand of his scrapped kingdom

 **james** : metal as fuck

\---

 **james** : I JSUT SAID FUCK IN THE GROUP CHAT YOUR PARENTS ARE IN

 **frances** : ,,,james

\---

 **little lion** : yES CAN WE LEAVE PLEASE

 **little lion** : I WOULD SAY YES BUT I CANT DRIVE THE BUS

 **more like HUNKules** : we can leave

 **johnn:** wOOO

\---

 **laf:** hghghghg love central air conditioning my skin has chills

 **little lion** : I want to write poems about us at the beach

 **more like HUNKules** : no we're showering first go in the bathroom

 **little lion** : :^(( but I'm inspired Now ))^:

 **laf** : ooh I can shower with hercules and read alex's poems when I get out if that's alright??

 **little lion** : !! !! ??? ?? ? !! !!! !! ?? ??! !? !?!! ?!

 **johnn** : I can't read alex's poems anymore they send me into a deep state where everything feels surreal bc there's no fucking way I got blessed with a husband this in love with me

 **little lion** : you did !! I'm gonna write it down on a notepad I found one

 **johnn** : hGFHSH

 **more like HUNKules** : !! lafayette !! yes come here my love

 **laf** : wOO lemme get my scalp massager

 **more like HUNKules** : truly a savior in the time of sand and natural hair

 **laf** : liT ERALLy

\---

 **frances** : we shower, we nap, we get up, we Date

 **france eyes** : yayayaya who's showering first

 **frances** : I'm already in the bathroom Goodbye

 **frances** : james is on the floor in here so uH you're gonna be waiting a while

 **france eyes** : james

 **france eyes** : my love, my light, and my Life, if I promise to pay for your dinner tonight will you let me shower next

 **james** : no there's sand covering Every inch of me and I'm Already in here sO

 **france eyes** : fine

 **frances** : also do nOT tell my parents james is in here

 **frances:** they won't kill me,,,but it would be weird for them to know

 **james** : ya

 **france eyes** : will do

 **france eyes** : ,,can I come in then,,

 **james** : are you gonna let me shower first still

 **france eyes** : of course

 **james** : then ye

 **france eyes** : !!

\---

 **little lion** : I accidentally wrote six things and like,,,two of them are sonnets so uH

 **laf** : alex what the fuck

 **johnn** : come up here and shower with me!! so we can start getting ready for our date

 **more like HUNKules** : uHH wrong when do we nap

 **johnn** : right right nap and Then get ready for our date

 **more like HUNKules** : better

 **little lion** : don't nap without us!! I want to be snatched as fuck Surround Sound style

 **more like HUNKules** : we wont <3

 **more like HUNKules** : also I don't want to sleep alone and lafayette is twisting their hair so we wouldn't anyway

 **little lion** : bless!!

\---

 **hugh lowercase** : I always regret asking but we passed your bedroom on the way to ours and ??? are you alright

 **more like HUNKules** : ya alex wrote us sonnets and I'm reading them to lafayette we're just crying abt them it's nothing

 **hugh lowercase** : ,,,right

 **hugh lowercase** : okay,,,well,,,,have fun

 **more like HUNKules** : thANKS   
  
\---  
  
**theodosia the Second** : your sister and parents are going on a date tonight sOooO  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,do you wanna go on like a formal date or like,,,mini golf  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : bc I was planning to ask you out after we were both Clean of Sand but !! since you brought it up I want to do both but haven't decided  
  
**theodosia the Second** : fancy restaurant mini golf after then candy store third home last  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : I,,,love you,,so much,,,Yes  
  
**theodosia the Second** : !! I love you too !!

**Author's Note:**

> !! sorry if the ending seems rushed I wanted to get this posted on time !! and also it's been two years since i posted the first 1-800!!
> 
> tumblr: lol-phan-af


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